August 20, 2014

Boomers, how will you fill those empty hours between the office and the grave? ¹⁴

And I Suppose You Think That's Funny?, Funny, Portfolio • Tags: boomers, hot air ballooning, Oregon, retirement, Rogue River, Sonoma, spa, wine country

As someone who is staring down the barrel of retirement, I read everything I can on the subject. It will not surprise you to learn that some advice is better than others; some suggestions are nuggets, while others are more McNuggets – of questionable provenance and hard to swallow. More…

“Gimme a liter of lactated Ringer’s solution — and keep ’em coming!” ³

And I Suppose You Think That's Funny?, Funny, Portfolio • Tags: austin, Dr. Douglas Casa, Gatorade, IV hydration, triathlete, University of Connecticut

Hey, all you hard-core athletes! Gatorade not cutting it for you anymore? Is drinking a glass of water just soooo 15 minutes ago? Do you ever wish you had a better, more modern way to meet your urgent hydration needs? One that doesn’t involve your mouth, perhaps? More…

When it’s time to bring the weird, no one tops Republicans ⁵

And I Suppose You Think That's Funny?, Funny, Portfolio • Tags: cranking, gonzo, guns, Hunter S. Thompson, Jordan D. Haskins, lsd, Michigan, Michigan’s 95th House district, oklahoma, pedal-pumping, Rep. Frank D. Lucas, Republicans, sexual fetish, Timothy Ray Murray

Hunter S. Thompson, gun enthusiast, LSD aficionado and inventor of gonzo journalism, once said, “It never got weird enough for me.” Maybe, but if the good doctor hadn’t shot himself in 2005, it might have. More…

If Dante had owned a car, he would have loved Houston ⁴

And I Suppose You Think That's Funny?, Funny, Portfolio • Tags: Disney, Galleria, guns, Harris County, heat, hell, hot weather, Houston, Michael Jacskon, Mumbai, sweet tea, traffic

The U.S. Census will tell you that 2.1 million people live in Houston. What it won’t tell you is why.

Too young to vote? Then you’re too young to camp (next to me, anyway) ⁴

And I Suppose You Think That's Funny?, Funny, Portfolio • Tags: Blair Witch Project, camping, Government Canyon State Natural Area, Michael Chabon

If you’re a camper, perhaps you’ve seen those ready-made checklists that are designed to help you remember all your woodland requisites. Tent? Check. Sleeping bags? Check. Handcuffs? Oops – wrong list!

Ain’t misbehavin’ — who has the energy? ⁴

And I Suppose You Think That's Funny?, Funny, Portfolio • Tags: booty calls, drinking, espresso, fidelity, gambling, HEB, marriage, Topo Chico

Last weekend Liz went to Arkansas to visit family, leaving me alone and unsupervised. Anytime she leaves town, she reminds me to behave myself. I’m pretty sure she does this just to be nice, because she certainly doesn’t need to – she knows as well as I do that I don’t have the energy to misbehave anymore.