Happy 2016, everyone! The new year is upon us, bringing with it the promise of new things, the hope for a brighter tomorrow and, if you live in Texas, a better chance of getting your ass shot.
Need a pair of gluten-free jeans? Austinite Richard Cole has your ass covered. Literally.
John Lennon wrote, “Happiness is a warm gun,” but I’m pretty sure this is not what he meant. And thanks to a woman in Waco, I will now never hear the term “pistol-packin’ mama” without wincing.
In Oklahoma, if you want your trailer moved all you have to do is wait for spring and a tornado will do it for you (alternatively, you can wait for a divorce, and your ex and her new biker/meth cook boyfriend Skeeter will move it—usually while you’re at work). More…
Guys, what’s your greatest fear? Going bald? Having a colonoscopy? Being French kissed by Madonna?
How about getting your balls crushed by your pants?
If that last one is an issue, Lulelemon has your back (so to speak).
Texas is known around the world as the capital of macho. The very name is shorthand for bad-ass. And if you follow the news, you know that it’s also Ground Zero for the open carry movement – if “movement” isn’t too grand a term for paranoids who feel the need to arm themselves like Afghan warlords for a trip to Chipotle. It’s also home to plenty of politicians who pander to these wack jobs. More…