Mermaid tail? Might want to see a plastic sturgeon about that 6

Some parents tell their kids, “This is America – you can be anything you want to be.” Theoretically, this is true. “You can be president!” Yes, unless you’re a Jewish Democratic Socialist. “You can be a professional football player!” Of course you can, if you’re a genetic freak with a taste for steroids. “You can be a mermaid!” More…

An old fart looks at fashion (or, you’re not really going out like that, are you?) 2

From time to time (and by “time to time” I mean “every time I leave my freakin’ house”) I am amazed by some young person’s appearance.

More…

Tornado, divorce or taxpayer bitching—one way or another, an Okie’s gonna lose that trailer 5

In Oklahoma, if you want your trailer moved all you have to do is wait for spring and a tornado will do it for you (alternatively, you can wait for a divorce, and your ex and her new biker/meth cook boyfriend Skeeter will move it—usually while you’re at work). More…