ATX Craftsman Wants You to Get Into His Paleo Jeans 1

Need a pair of gluten-free jeans? Austinite Richard Cole has your ass covered. Literally.



Is That a Gun in Your Vagina, or Are You Just Glad to See Me? 6

John Lennon wrote, “Happiness is a warm gun,” but I’m pretty sure this is not what he meant. And thanks to a woman in Waco, I will now never hear the term “pistol-packin’ mama” without wincing.


Tornado, divorce or taxpayer bitching—one way or another, an Okie’s gonna lose that trailer 5

In Oklahoma, if you want your trailer moved all you have to do is wait for spring and a tornado will do it for you (alternatively, you can wait for a divorce, and your ex and her new biker/meth cook boyfriend Skeeter will move it—usually while you’re at work). More…

Pants busting your balls? The solution is as simple as ABC 8

Guys, what’s your greatest fear? Going bald? Having a colonoscopy? Being French kissed by Madonna?

How about getting your balls crushed by your pants?

If that last one is an issue, Lulelemon has your back (so to speak).


guy with gun

Guns don’t kill people — people with guns kill people (and that’s the problem) 5

Texas is known around the world as the capital of macho. The very name is shorthand for bad-ass. And if you follow the news, you know that it’s also Ground Zero for the open carry movement – if “movement” isn’t too grand a term for paranoids who feel the need to arm themselves like Afghan warlords for a trip to Chipotle. It’s also home to plenty of politicians who pander to these wack jobs. More…