Stodden to God: Thanks for the mammaries 6

Well, I don’t know about you but I am hugely relieved. First, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore split up, and then Kim Kardashian and her husband of 72 days divorce. In the face of heartbreak like this, I take my consolation – no matter how meager – where I can get it.

So today I rest easier knowing that Courtney Stodden’s breasts are real. More…

Forget Boss Day – call me when it’s Employee Day 2

If you’re like me, you’re pretty excited, and probably gearing up for National Boss Day Oct 16. Even though I pretty much stopped listening to him after “Born In the USA,” I still think it’s pretty awesome that Bruce gets his own freakin’ day. More…

Banning public nudity is oppression – and that’s a good thing 4

I just got back home to Austin – a city that likes to “keep it weird” – after a few days in Portland, Oregon – a city that does likewise. But I don’t know that either of them can really be called weird. Quirky? Sure. Charming? No doubt. But when it comes to keepin’ it weird, they can’t hold a candle to that City by the Bay. More…

Don’t look for the key to long life in the gym – it’s in your genes 2

The Bible tells us that Methuselah lived to be 969 years old. Of course, the Bible also says that he fathered a child at 187, and that all our troubles can be blamed on a talking snake. More…

Skorts 1, Guy 0; turns out I don’t know everything 6

At this point in my life, I am pretty secure in my masculinity. Sure, I like to cook – and not just grilling, either. I make a kick-ass frittata, and despite the fact that’s pretty much Spanish for “quiche,” I stand by my guy bona fides. And yeah, I got a little misty during “Toy Story 3,” but who besides Chuck Norris didn’t? And my position on poop jokes is clear – for the record: always funny. More…