A quick quiz for the guys: You’ve landed a big job interview and you want to look your professional best. Or you’ve got a hot first date and you want to impress her with your mad fashion skillz. Do you know what to wear?
Of course you don’t! You’re a man. Sure, you know how to get dressed; that is, you know that the shirt buttons go in front, and the fat end of the tie should cover up the skinny end, but beyond that and you might as well be a drunken, color-blind gibbon.
To take the mystery out of a process that women seem to master around age 3, radio and television mogul Ryan Seacrest has started his own line of men’s clothing that features fashionable and reasonably priced clothes and accessories.
Pimping a line of clothing is not unique to Seacrest. Basketballer Michael Jordan loaned his name to a wildly successful line of athletic shoes, while No Doubt vocalist Gwen Stefani (herself a fashion plate) has her own fashion company. And celebrity chef Paula Deen has a line of bed sheets that come with the eyeholes already cut out.
But Seacrest has done something most other celebrities with clothing lines have not – he has included a color-matching system to help regular guys match things up so our ensembles won’t make peoples’ eyes bleed, or trigger grand mal seizures.
In Seacrest’s system, called “Style Made Smart,” each piece of clothing has a tag numbered 1 through 4. Each tag indicates a color family, so a clueless guy can look at the number and know that if he wears all 1s, say, everything will match and he won’t look like a hobo (or Johnny Depp).
If you’re a parent and this sounds familiar, that’s probably because it is. You may dress your kids in Garanimals, a clothing line that uses tags featuring anthropomorphic animal characters to help kids match their clothes.
Maybe that’s the direction Seacrest ought to take; instead of numbers, his tags could feature little animals. Guys would still need guidance from their spouses, but it would sound like this: “Baby, I know how much you love your panda bears, but this is a formal wedding, so you need to break out your penguins. And quit sulking — we’re already late.”
Nice pointy hat tip to Paula Deen!
I agree. The Paula Deen smack was a gratuitous non sequitur. Well done.
You are soooooo perceptive!
Obviously this column refers to people other than the author as no doubt the “bechamel sauce on Super Bowl day” boy has fashion sense to die for.
This is really about my skinny jeans, isn’t it?